What about Grief?
Well, what about grief? Everybody does it different. Not really and yes.
We do grief the way we have been taught to do grief.
Some of us have never been taught how to grieve.
We learn from seeing other people grieve, allowing our emotions to run rampant or
stuffing them so far down that they cannot breathe.
When we stuff our grief, we often feel stomach ache, headache, eye twitches, anger, emptiness, loneliness and we become sick.
The same thing happens when we stuff anger.
When allow our emotions to run rampant, we blow up, blame others, sabotage,
get destructive and sometimes turn to substance abuse to calm us down.
One way to learn how to handle grief is to get a grief mentor.
Grief mentors come in many forms; clergy, therapists, friends, family, videos, books, and journals.
When our emotions run high, it is a great time to channel this into something creative.
This is the reason we often see such eloquent expressions of grief in obituaries.
There is something very soulful about putting words to paper.
Allowing others to share our grief, validates the power of the very essence of our grief.
Grief makes it very tempting to trauma bond in the moment, because are all going through something.
Discernment is necessary during these vulnerable moments.
Find people who are strong in our moments of weakness.
This allows us to show strength for others when we are vulnerable.
It becomes a kind of grief mentoring, using strength as a scaffold, as leaning on strength when we are weak.
Otherwise, if we are both weakened by grief, we can sink to our lowest self due to the phenomena of trauma bonding.
Below is a poem to help understand the power of grief:
“Hertz and Hurts have the same frequency”
Vibration is defined by Frequency and Hertz.
Isn’t it interesting that the word “Hertz” sounds just like the word “hurts”?
What if the vibes we feel are a measurement of the frequency of the hurts we’ve endured?
Think about it, when a vibe is in the room,
It is a reflection of the frequency/wavelength, that we are on,
the room is on or the people in the room are on.
That frequency may or may not reflect the hurts in the room.
The amount of hurt we have endured, the room has endured or the people in the room have endured.
However, just like the ying yang sign, anything that is a sign of danger is also a sign of opportunity.
Every time we look at something that is a hurt, we can look at that as an opportunity for healing.
After all, when we are in the practice of seeking peace, we are in the process of getting healthier, together.
In this way healing occurs.
As we establish our vibe for the day, look at every experience of hurt as an opportunity for healing.
This allows us to set our days path on a positive vibe.
Peace, C. King, MD
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5tTUQHbpR5ULctz7OM9lCw0AWUCOsQYf&si=TiTX1kYRZ4JlQ7Wj
https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding
https://www.centerforloss.com/bookstore/grief-one-day-time-365-meditations-help-heal-loss/