Understanding CBT

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that our thoughts have an impact on our emotions, which have an impact on our behaviors.

For example, Rob is sharing a story with a group of friends. Someone talks over him and the conversation changes away from Rob’s story. Rob immediately thinks about how people don’t seem to want to hear him and how he is not as important to his friends as he wants to be (thoughts). This makes him feel frustrated, hurt, and annoyed (emotions/feelings). Later in the conversation, he is short with his friends and makes a passive-aggressive comment about how people don’t care about him (behavior).

Rob’s immediate interpretation of the event changed the way that he felt and acted in that situation. If his immediate interpretation had been more neutral (“My friends are all just talking, sometimes we talk over each other. I don’t think that person was trying to be rude”), his feelings and behaviors would have also been different. He may have still felt frustrated, but maybe not to the same level. He likely would not have snapped at his friends.

Our thoughts are based on the core beliefs that we have about ourselves. In the example above, Rob’s core beliefs are that he is not good enough or important enough to others. This is why his interpretation of being talked over became so negative and self-defeating. Once we start to understand how our core beliefs about ourselves and our world shape how we think, we can start to make positive and healthy changes.

The video below also helps to explain the basics of CBT.